We’ve all been there. We’ve thought, ‘I don’t want this,’ ‘I want it to be different.’ If you can solve your problem – then excellent – but what do you do when there is absolutely nothing you can do about it (e.g., a missed train, or a family member marrying someone you don’t like)?
Now, you can try to say, ‘Just don’t think about it,’ but in my experience this just makes us more agitated that we CAN’T stop dwelling on it. And so if you CAN’T stop thinking about it, we better learn a DIFFERENT way of thinking about it.
Thought Defusion is about distancing from thoughts and remembering they are just mental events (not pressing matters or inherent facts). In order to identify thoughts for what they really are, we need to recognise that thoughts are only as powerful as the meaning we give to them. Our thoughts are not always true or helpful. Just because we have thoughts, it doesn’t mean we have to believe them or act on them.
Although there are hundreds of ways to practice thought defusion (see: Getselfhelp.co.uk), here are two popular ways:
(1) WITH WORDS:
Change the thought to be from the observing position (a more distant position) than from the acting position (a more invested position), e.g., replace ‘I can’t stand Jane,’ with ‘I’m noticing my mind is having the thought that I can’t stand Jane.’ Practice this each time the thought comes up.
Step 1: Catch the thought! E.g., ‘I can’t cope.’
Step 2: Step back from the thought. E.g., ‘I’m having the thought that I can’t cope.’
Step 3: Take the observer role. E.g., ‘I’m noticing that my mind is I’m having the thought that I can’t cope.’
(2) WITH IMAGES:
Use imagery, such as ‘Leaves on a Stream.’ Imagine a trickling stream. Each time you notice a thought, imagine placing the thought on a leaf and watching it pass.
Step 1: Sit in a comfortable position and close your eyes gently.
Step 2: Imagine yourself sitting beside a flowing stream or river with leaves floating along the surface of the water.
Step 3: Each time a thought enters your mind, place it on a leaf and let it float by in your mind’s eye. Do this with all thoughts, whether joyful or painful for 10 minutes.
Remember that learning how to use thought defusion takes practice. You wouldn’t expect to play the piano perfectly after one lesson, and it’s the same with mental skills. If you’re struggling with self-management of anxiety, low mood, or daily stressors, contact our Sydney-based psychology clinic Foresight Psychology Ultimo: 02 8380 8855 / info@foresightpsychology.com to find out how we can help you live with more joy, meaning, and freedom.
