Article by Dr Amy Burton & Nishtha Tandon
Anger is a normal human emotion. In small amounts, anger serves the function of telling us that something is unfair, and it motivates us to take action for what it right. However, sometimes our anger can spike into rage, or becomes a consistent angry mood. When this happens, anger can have serious impacts on our health, our relationships and our overall quality of life.
To help you to be able to better manage your anger we have put together some helpful strategies to assist you to build a more constructive and healthy relationship with your anger.
- Anger Diary
An anger diary is similar to a thought log and it offers a practical way of processing our anger and better understanding our anger triggers. An anger diary will help you to reflect on the trigger, to recognise your warning signs for anger (e.g., noticeable physical symptoms), and to consider the outcome of your anger. Over time you will become more aware of your triggers and warning signs for anger and will be able to engage in more effective approaches to the situation before the anger escalates. Easily accessible downloads are available.
- Make an angry playlist
Music is a great way to get a release of emotion in a safe and healthy way. Why not try to create a playlist of your favourite loud songs to blast when you need an anger release? Alternatively, you might like to create a feel-good playlist which picks your mood up when you a stuck in an irritable state. Seek ideas for a rage anthem playlist here.
- Relaxation Exercises
The main purpose of relaxation exercises is to help you to notice and then let go of your anger, rather than as a way of suppressing it. You might notice the pace of your breathing shift to shallow breathing when angry and your muscles tense up. Once you observe the physical signs of anger, try to find a quiet space to engage in a few minutes of deliberate relaxation techniques. Slow down and focus on your breathing while inhaling and exhaling deeply; actively tense up your muscles and then release them one at a time. Headspace offers guided meditation exercises that utilise “focused attention” to train the mind to witness anger and let it go peacefully.
- Release your physical anger and tension with inanimate objects
Sometimes all we need is a healthy way to release the anger and tension. Try these suggestions which might seem silly at first but are surprisingly effective:
– Yell or scream into a pillow.
– Throw a pillow or soft objects as hard as you can.
– Thrash your arms and legs on the bed.
– Tear up magazines and newspapers.
– Have the argument with an ‘empty chair’.
– Write an angry letter to the person who has made you feel this way and get out on paper all the things you feel that you want to say, keep writing until there is nothing left to write.
- Challenging Angry Thoughts
Use your skills of noticing unhelpful angry thoughts in the moment and become aware of any unbalanced or unrealistic thinking patterns your mind might be engaging in. Consider if there is another way to think of the situation, is there another perspective? Can you come up with a more balanced and helpful way of thinking that doesn’t lead to as much anger?
